Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Uncertainty. Real problems with the sale of the flat.

I can't describe how rattled I am about this, but equally I don't feel justified in complaining. Increasingly, to be a home owner in the UK is a mark of privilege. The fact is that I have a home. A lovely friend, who used to be an estate agent, tells me each time we speak that every property sells eventually.

It's the sense of disorientation that's hardest to deal with. The inner landscape is being stripped away. Predictable thoughts. Familiar feelings. I didn't always like them, but there was a comfort in the habitual. Now, even though the outer circumstances are as yet unaltered, the internal points of reference are being ruthlessly demolished by the prospect of major change. Even more so by the prospect of its deferral.

Transition is uncomfortable. But, alas, comfort probably shouldn't be the goal.

There is some reassurance in living in the present, and I take refuge there. The sound of the steady rain outside is soothing. The cat sleeps on the sofa and companionable voices emerge from the radio in the background. I know that I have a couple of phone calls to return and a yoga class this evening .....

So there we are. It is as it is. Reach out. Trust. Or not. But keep going.

Now, if I could just stop worrying .....

Click to enlarge photo.


Blogger Stray said...

Trust. Or not. But keep going.

very much so ... but ... what a lot to contend with.

It does seem from here to be a very short time since you put it on the market - but then I know that time has different properties from inside vs outside an experience!

For me, it would be the lack of control. That's what I like about renting - you give notice, you move on. On the other had, you're always at the mercy of someone else's change of plans ... but then, aren't we all?

take care xx

6:21 pm  
Blogger Jessie said...

Oh, Mary, I'm sorry this isn't going smoothly for you.

7:46 pm  
Blogger MB said...

I love the photo you chose to put with this post.

I've been wondering how things were going and I'm sorry to hear they are not going smoothly. How trying that can be! Comfort surely is not an entirely unreasonable desire, the problem is that it can't be relied upon and only arrives on its own schedule sometimes! Hang in there, I hope you'll find resolution soon. Good luck!

8:03 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

Thanks guys.

Stray: You're right, the offer to buy came quickly. The problem is the nature of the problem that has come up concerning the lease. But even if I was capable of it I wouldn't want to go into the ins and outs of UK leasehold law on the blog!

Jessie: You've been there, I know.

MB: Glad you like the photo .. it suggested to me something about not being able to see the wood for the trees!

8:26 pm  
Blogger Michael Manning said...

I feel the same way. Bingo! You hit the nail on the head of this perfectly. I am sending good vibes that just the right buyer comes along!

10:43 pm  
Blogger starnitesky said...

Mary I am with you with your comments, you have put into words how I am feeling right now, selling a house I have lived in for 25 years is so emotionally charge especially as I sift through all my belongings to decide what I don't need anymore.

I do hope the problems with the sale improve.

11:12 pm  
Blogger Pauline said...

"The inner landscape is being stripped away." How apt a description of that strange place we find ourselves in when we're between an old home and a new one. There is indeed comfort in the habitual. I read a story once called The Holy Man that dealt with that idea. I haven't looked at habit in quite the same way since.

Hope things go smoothly for you. If nothing else, there's comfort in the thought that this too shall pass.

11:51 pm  
Blogger rdl said...

Oh Mary, I wish I could tell you not to worry in person, cause it sounds so banal here. A good friend of mine finally got her house under agreement on Sunday - a hugh relief because she was very close to foreclosure. Of course now we are holding our breath til the P&S. But I thought she sounded happy when she told me over the phone but when I asked her if she was, she started crying; mostly relief but she mentioned the transition thing too. I know you both will do fine, can feel it in my bones - and they're pretty good predictors :D

11:51 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Things in this illogical universe have ways of proving themselves out. It is not always comfortable but it does always teach us somthing. I know it is easy for me to say these things for I am not on your end of the story. But, have faith and let the journey continue.

12:08 am  
Blogger herhimnbryn said...

Bloody English leasehold law and selling houses in the Uk!
When we sold ours I felt as though we were enravelled in the Dickens Jarndice and Jarndice case!

It WILL sort itself out M, but unfortunately you are in the middle of it. Yoga sounds like anvery good idea.

12:28 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, but the trees are
so beautiful
as are memories...
and finishing
a novel
opening a new
a new

2:57 am  
Blogger Edie said...

Positive thoughts & energy, Mary

2:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've captured my current mind-plague more adequately than I could imagine someone doing. As ever, glad I stopped by. Thank you!

3:17 am  
Blogger Endment said...

Change always leaves me facing the unexpected - sometimes with delight and others with dispair...
I am sending you some sympathy and a tad of courage - may they both take root and grow

2:43 pm  
Blogger Tarakuanyin said...

Been there. It's a scary time. I'm thinking of you.

2:52 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

Michael: ... and good vibes back to you too!

Starnitesky: Thanks for your comment here and below. It's a tumultuous time ... wishing you well.

Pauline: I'm particularly fond of "this too shall pass" .. thanks for the reminder.

Rdl: I have great faith in your bones!

Dave:.. *let the journey continue*. I love that.

HHB: There are definite overtones of Bleak House ..

Anonymous: Thank you for the reminder about trees. I'd missed that and I find it very cheering.

Edie: Thanks for your comment here and below. And thank you too for pointing out the picture of the open door and how it relates ... Like anonymous's comment, I found it very helpful.

SLH: I always like it when you drop by. Thank you.

Endment: I'm planting both ....

Tarakuanyin: .. and you survived! Thank you.

7:08 pm  
Blogger chuck said...

I like what Dave has to say.

And about worry...at least one feels ALIVE with worry: there is a certain excitement about it...as long as it stops short of panic.

Expect a good outcome...and the good outcome may just come and surprise you. Here's hoping!

7:07 am  
Blogger Sky said...

mary, sometimes giving it over to the universe is the best decision we can make. when it is meant to sell, it will. until then the best you can do is remedy any reasonable situation which appears to get in the way of this goal.

so glad you are doing yoga...proper breathing is so important when we are stressed.

i have always found that i am where i need to be at any given moment. you are, too, i suspect.


8:46 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang on in there - things have a habit of working out just when you least expect it.


1:36 pm  
Anonymous Becca said...

My least favorite place to be is in a waiting room. I hate waiting for resolution ... such an uncomfortable time. Hope the meantime isn't unbearable.

11:40 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

Chuck: Thank you! Cheering words ...

Sky: You couldn't know this, but the timing of your comment was perfect ... thank you as always.

Jan: I'm hanging :-)

Becca: Oh I hate waiting too. Good training probably, but no, not comfortable.

11:46 am  

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