Juxtapositions
Little fluffy clouds over Balham. Originally uploaded by Dave Cross.
At dawn
the leaves that remain
are sharp, serene silhouettes;
on the horizon,
a solitary star;
no sound, no wind;
for a split second
cold air and just
this star,
these trees,
these leaves.
-----
But you need to know
that this takes place
in a busy suburban street
lined with terraced houses
and leading to the station;
seconds later a boy
revved up his motorbike,
and a neighbour
shouted and swore
at his disobedient dog.
----
Morning now claims
that one last star,
and the leaves remain
suspended,
frail yet tenacious
an offering to the
next easterly wind.
May all living things be happy
her Buddhist friend would say:
the angry man
the boy on the motorbike
the disobedient dog
the fragile leaves
the solitary star
enfolded into the light
of the winter sun.
15 Comments:
J'adore ce ciel !
Magie des couleurs ..
Cette beauté de la nature devrait nous inciter à la vraie modestie ...mais l'homme est si faible !!!
What a lovely poem, Mary. I could really feel that moment, the suspension of sky and leaves and light, that was then pulled back by the sounds of the neighborhood. A lovely balance you make between the images of light and beauty, and those of the daily grind. May all living things be happy, indeed. I'm happy to be starting my day with this in mind. Thank you.
Mary, I like this poem alot;hope you don't mind but the editor would like to see the first 2 lines in the 3rd stanza removed - i think it would flow better.
This really is a lovely poem. I'm reading it at the end of a hectic day and it's helping me come back to the quiet and to myself. Thank you for this - and the photograph too.
A juxtaposition indeed, but the tranquil sky created by your words integrates it perfectly.
Yes, it's lovely. I've been noticing a lot the few leaves strangely left on the trees this winter and how they stand out against the sky in the clear winter light - so how wonderful to find this evoked so well in your poem.
Morning does break dawn, that moment of mystical stillness.
I wonder if dogs hear shouting as barking.
Thank you (et merci!) everyone. Glad you picked up something of what I was clumsily trying to convey.
Rdl: Many thanks for your constructive comment! Nice to get feedback particularly as I am a newbie poet. Do you mean delete the two lines "But you....takes place"? And therefore start "In a busy suburban street...."?
Zhoen: Maybe dogs do hear shouting as barking! But I imagine too they pick up some of the intention behind the tone.
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Yes Mary exactly but you might have to rework the next piece a little or you could just take out the 1st line and that on the 2nd. ( this is just what I think sounds better). I'm so glad you didn't mind.
Ah, lovely moment... and then the intrusion. But glad you could bring the peace back through your blessings.
lovely ... without being precious ... which is perfect!
BEAUTIFUL! You should try going over to Kat Magendie's page for her writers challenge. I did and it was fun! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Leslee, Becca, Michael. Thank you all.
Very nice!
Great expression!
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