Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Waiting (updated)

Tree

I'm observing life these days. Appropriately for this time of year, waiting. For guidance, for my own light to appear, waiting for the results of medical tests as well. Definitely a crossroads time, a transition. I go about my business ending some things but not yet ready to initiate anything new. Much confusion and numbness, some depression and anxiety, I am moved and encouraged by the kindnesses of others when I come across them.

I had a cranial osteopathy session yesterday evening; like floating in still, buoyant water, the tiny, rhythmic, wave-like movement of the cerebro-spinal fluid mirrored and held by the osteopath's hands underneath my spine, it's like playing an instrument she said. The inflamed thoracic vertebrae soaked up her touch; the knotted muscles and fascia started to un-knot at the periphery but a hard core of resistance, of blockage, remains at the level of the heart. This is what I am really waiting for, an energy, a flowing, a non-resistance, a melting, a letting-go.

Update 1: For those unfamiliar with Cranial Osteopathy, here's a link that might help make sense of what I've written.

8 Comments:

Blogger Sonia said...

I wish to you much energy and happiness. Cheers!

6:50 pm  
Blogger MB said...

This is a striking photo. Lovely and dark at the same time. It almost looks on fire. I love black and white photography.

Waiting for the results of medical tests is difficult for me. I always want to butcher GBShaw's words and say "The suspense is killing me — I hope it won't last!" because I find the not-knowing so hard. I hope you receive comforting results before long.

Cranial osteopathy sounds very interesting. I hadn't heard of it before. But opening blockages is a familiar notion. May the melting and flowing you wish for arrive soon. It puts me in mind of what I've mentioned before, that self-compassion is the hardest for me, and very inconsistent, but once I'm there everything else seems pretty easy.

Mary, your comments at my blog are always so much appreciated. Thank you.

10:16 pm  
Blogger leslee said...

Oh, good luck, Mary. Sounds painful. Things seem to still be in a stuck pattern, but they'll start moving ahead again soon. Hang in there.

11:05 pm  
Blogger zhoen said...

I'm right with you, although mine is sacral, chiropractor not working, not expecting much from the GP, except entree into other care- long frustrating waits of uncertainty and only unknowns at the end.

Melting indeed. Peace.

12:29 am  
Blogger Mary said...

Sonia/Leslee: Thank you. Writing about it actually helps.

Moose: Thank you. I think I should actually have made the b/w photo larger and I might still do that.
Yes, waiting for these particular results is difficult, but hopefully it is a false alarm. I have added a link on cranial osteopathy. I love it and find it very helpful.

And it's very reciprocal as far as blog comments go!

Zhoenw: My problems are generally in the sacral area too, and I have found this c/o technique works with this as well. But I know each person's back condition is very different and I wish you succcess and persistence in finding your own route through. Peace and hugs.

10:11 am  
Blogger apples4me said...

Hi Mary, I just got back and thank you for your kind words...I truly wish you well and may you be shown the true light..and yes hopefully it's a false alarm. Just visualise inside you that IT IS a false alarm:)

Btw, I've never heard of Cranial Osteo...thanks for sharing. Glad you did!

take care!

hugs*

4:29 pm  
Anonymous katherine said...

. . . i've been getting massage lately from someone with magically, fierce, loving hands . . . so thankful for the healers in Life . . . :) wishing you peace and warmth and ahhhhhhhhhhhh :)

5:14 pm  
Anonymous Osteopathy in Los Angeles said...

If anyone wants to learn more chack out this site for a cranial osteopath in Santa Monica, California

11:30 pm  

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