Waiting (updated)

I'm observing life these days. Appropriately for this time of year, waiting. For guidance, for my own light to appear, waiting for the results of medical tests as well. Definitely a crossroads time, a transition. I go about my business ending some things but not yet ready to initiate anything new. Much confusion and numbness, some depression and anxiety, I am moved and encouraged by the kindnesses of others when I come across them.

I had a cranial osteopathy session yesterday evening; like floating in still, buoyant water, the tiny, rhythmic, wave-like movement of the cerebro-spinal fluid mirrored and held by the osteopath's hands underneath my spine, it's like playing an instrument she said. The inflamed thoracic vertebrae soaked up her touch; the knotted muscles and fascia started to un-knot at the periphery but a hard core of resistance, of blockage, remains at the level of the heart. This is what I am really waiting for, an energy, a flowing, a non-resistance, a melting, a letting-go.

Update 1: For those unfamiliar with Cranial Osteopathy, here's a link that might help make sense of what I've written.