Structure

My fear of exacerbating my existing internet compulsivity was one of the reasons I hesitated before starting a blog. And after almost one month of blogging, the amount of my time spent on the net really has not changed that much. I am still not comfortable with my patterns of behaviour around internet use, they get in the way sometimes of other things I want to do/should be doing. I am therefore going to have two days in the week as computer ‘fasting’ days.

Tuesday and Saturday are the days I have chosen, though this may change from time to time through real life factors. If you find me around on either of these days I am breaking my commitment, so feel free to tell me off.

Yesterday was my first experiment, and from 8.00 am Saturday to 8.00 am Sunday I packed my laptop away out of sight, knowing that it was not an option. And the day took on a spaciousness that is absent when I dart backwards and forwards at intervals to blog or surf. I phoned a couple of friends, did housework, read the paper, gave a back massage to a friend as a birthday gift and then listened to a Jeff Buckley CD. Phone calls to more friends followed and a deliciously lazy couple of hours on the sofa with supper and a good TV programme.

Back on line this morning, but a confidence has been born that I can, bit by bit, re-establish some balance and structure into a life that has been emotionally and physically unmanageable of late. This is supported by a renewed commitment to a daily meditation practice.

It has been a most beautiful and sunny early autumn Sunday here in London. I walked by the Thames on the way to a meeting, did some shopping then spent a relaxed hour with a former work colleague having a cappucino and catching up on news. And now back home to start preparing for the final week in my current job.